Midnight Phonecalls

tell me what u think about it..

night falls
silent like dark silk
wrap me in those loving folds
we waitonce we were innocent
now our eyes are cold

where did we go?
when did we lose the battle for time?
what do i know?
are these words really mine?
where did we go?

day breaks
falling like a comet fast
duck and cover, as we run
i feel faintwe've got to make haste
to make the moment last

where did we go?
when did we lose the battle for time?
what do i know?
are these words really mine?
where did we go?

time loses meaning,
when i think of the feeling you bring
my head is reeling, now i'm just waiting to sing
i'll tell you everything...

where did we go?
when did we lose the battle for time?
what do i know?are these words really mine?
where did we go?

summer

i love summer.
she loves summer.
he loves summer.

we love summer.

i love waiting.
she loves watching.
he loves straining.

we love summer.

i love stirring.
she loves sifting.
he loves tasting.

we love summer.

i love listening.
she loves talking.
he loves to ignore.

we love summer.

don't we?

truly worried sick

i can't bear to know this
and not do anything.

i just want to help, but
i have this feeling that i'll be making it worse.

i want them to be safe.
i just want them to be safe.

everyone keeps telling me that the only way to protect them is
to stay away.
to run.

but how can i do that?
how can i abandon them like little children
waiting forever on the steps of some school.
through rain and snow, sun and sleet.

until they grow from rosy-cheeked little kids
to bitter teenagers, floowed by a haze of rage
that follows them, clouding their every move.

how can i doom them to that fate?

how can i let them take the road i was forced to take?

how can i just leave?

im no genius but i know THAT wasn't smart

let me be the first to admit, i am not the smartest person on the planet.
i bet everyone has done some stuff that they haven't really thought out completely and it came back to bite them where it really hurts... but you always have to remember one thing when that happens. even though it sounds cliche, you cant just allow yourself to wallow in self-pity! thats disrespectful to yourself and to everyone who wants to see you happy!

top 10 things to do when u have a case of the 'moodies'
1. call a good friend. don't talk about things that will make you feel worse, catch up on the latest plans for the weekend, plan an impossibly big party!

2. do something fun! ice skate, finger paint, bake a pie! when you feel good about something you've made, you take your focus off of things that dont make you so happy

3. go do something physical! it's almost impossible to focus on running or weight lifting and hang onto a bad mood at the same time, the more you push yourself in one direction, the harder it is to do the other

4. dress up! put on a nice shirt, maybe iron a pair of your nicer looking jeans... just rock your look. when you look good, it helps you feel good.

5. watch something funny. i mean truly funny. like... demetri martin or dane cook or finesse mitchell... when you're crying tears of joy from laughing, you can't be unhappy.

6. do something strange. jump off of the swings, make a video of yourself pretending to be an old man, eat pizza upside down, jump on your bed. when you have less time to think about what you're doing, you have to do things you normally wouldn't

7. hug someone. hug your mom or dad, smother your little sister or brother, snuggle with your puppy! dogs always understand, no matter how stupid your problem sounds, they always are on your side.

8. have a tea party. a really good one, where you use the good china and make 'biscuts'. they're therapeutic and when you're obsessing over making your napkins fold evenly, you cant think of anything else

9. find your I-Spy or Where's Waldo? books. they're fun and sometimes you find things you wouldve never found otherwise

10. make an interperative dance. this is the MOST hilarious thing to do in the history of forever! create your own version of sign language and act out a song!


(i do not take responsibility if someone gets hurt while being stupid and/or trying one of these steps. if you do get hurt, let someone soul-kiss it. it works)

best of luck, Zoe b

stay sweet

best quotes from songs/people

these quotes all mean something to me...

"unsettle my heart, it's better to fold this terrible lie between us... everyone here is in love with everyonen else here"--the BOat People



"there's something so tragic 'bout a hopeless romantic"--Paul Schaeffer



"i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad.. the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had"--Gary Jules



"and if it makes you less sad, i will die by your hand.. you can tell me how vile i already know that i am"--Brand New



"and every aching wound will cauterize and bruise in memory of what we used to call in love"--Motion City Soundtrack



"yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.. today is a gift, that's why they call it the PRESENT"--Weezy



"how can i decide what's right when you're clouding up my mind?"-Paramore



"the loneliest werewolf, i wander the earth... my words are mistakes and my thoughts are unclean, the cider inside, it slides like a dream"--Ludo



"i'm lucky i'm in love wiht my best friend, they dont know how long it takes, waitin' for a love like this... everytime we say goodbye, i wish we had just one more kiss"--Jason Mraz



"now i'm head over heels, i'm hangin' upside down, thinkin' how you left me for dead... california bound"--Boys Like Girls

"try to leave a light on when i'm gone... even in the daylight, shine on"--david cook

"let's hear it for America's Sweetheart... i'm in love with my own sins"--Fall Out Boy

"maybe i would disappear without you, maybe i would fall into the sky...but i'm in heaven orbiting around you, and your pretty eyes"--Jason Reeves

"take me to that secret place, where i can only see your face and nothing else will ever feel this way... all i wnat is you"--the Planetshakers

"and you're in my heart, i can feel your beat... i can only breathe your name"--Leigh Nash

"we're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go... cuz we're ordinary people, maybe we should take it slow"--John Mayer

"the distance between our bodies... it's a problem that we can fix"--minus the bear

"they say that kid has got soul, i'm everywhere that you go... and i've been there, seen that, and i aint takin' you home"--cobra starship

"so put your hands up like ya got the heat to yo' back and shake ya body like a baby born addicted to crack"--immortal technique

"there's nothin' i could ever hold against you, i've got fatal flaws to call my own"--jon foreman

"it's a mistake if you do it once. it's stupid if you do it again"

"i dont doubt myself because of you... i feel like the best version of myself when i'm with you and that's what makes me doubt everything else."--Edward Norton from Keeping the Faith

"you gotta be smooth"--Mark Norton

thoughts on random stuff

what are blogs supposed to be about? i really have NO idea...
sorry about that. i dont think anyone reads these anyway lol but that's completely okay because i wouldn't read them if i was you. it's a complete waste of time. I am listening to Owl City right now. they are pretty BA (like all the other bands i like) and i'm singing along! "LALALLALAAAAAA" haha. no.

i drank a whole gallon of 'Guava/Mango Fruit Drink'. it was quite delicious. I also like to eat granola, especially the kind with chocolate in it. I like pretty much everything with chocolate in it. Last night, i was having trouble sleeping because i would stop breathing. it was kinda scary 'cause my toes would start to tingle and i'd wake up.

I was watching Vh1's 40 stupidest celeb quotes and evidently, Al Gore said "a zebra doesn't change it's spots" when he was trying to convince people to not vote for Bush in the 2000 election. how dumb do you have to be to think ZEBRAS have SPOTS??!! my 3 year old cousin knows zebras have stripes!! wow mister Gore, I sure am happy you didn't become President.

being a musician

sometimes there's just not enough words to describe the intensity of some emotion, some ridiculously vivid experience. that's when we writers write, we musicians make music, we vocalists, sing.
"has there ever been a love like mine? has there ever been something so strong, unrecognized? has there ever been a love like mine, so unrequited?" (fox elipsus)

yeah, there probably is. btu seriously? you think that's a good excuse?

get out of my sight

secrets

sectrets dont make friends and friends dont keep heart-breaking, goal-shattering, life-altering secrets from their other friends and then stab them right in the back.

no. im not happy.

wow

i have a lot of things to say tonight!!! first off, the new season of the office will be starting at nine on TBS. I will be watching it. Second, I read that story about Micheal Stolzenberg and that Wade guy. Really sweet, really touching. It kinda brightened up an already really good day :D

Language arts has been my favorite class for a while.. I like to write and I usually like to read. But lately, I have been torn. This 'River Write' thing is hard to do! my hands are kinda crampy and my brain is kinda tired because between that and Norton's ill-placed algebra quiz and Carlson's Unit For Exam (a.k.a. death by scantron), my brain cannot think of very many more things.

I still think that summer needs to hurry up and get here. I like the sun. This is the last summer i have before high school which means only three-ish more summers with my friends after this one. That's scary.

DOes anyone else find themseleves looking at someone's shoes instead of their face when you talk to them? I do. Some people have some pretty BA shoes. like this one seventh grader has these rainbow Chuck Taylors. They are amazing. And this other seventh grader has some blue and purple Nike hightops. They are also amazing. I am a bit of a shoe fanatic I guess. I have 54 pairs. 11 of those pairs are Chucks, not counting the two pairs of All-Star flats I have. Some people might say that I have a 'problem' when it comes to shoes, but I disagree. I believe that God made us have feet so that we could adorn them in the most beautiful way possible; with great shoes.

Does eating cheerios count as a snack when it's a self-serve bowl?

love. truly.

Why do you love your parents? Why do you love your friends? Why do you love your boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it because they make you happy? Because they believe in you? Because they're always there for you? All of these are wonderful reasons, but there is an even greater love than the love you have for them/

Remember the first time someone told you they loved you and you actually believed them? wasn't it exhilarating? exciting? breath-taking? As you spent the next few days floating around, all you could think was "they love me. they LOVE me. THEY love ME!!!!" and you began to glow. You had faith in that love, though it was probably not unconditional.

I believe in God. I may not always act like it but I'm working on it... But today in church i heard a sermon that changed my life. It was about the unconditional love that God has for all of us. Whether we're white, black, red, purple or green, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Atheist or Hindu, skinny, fat, in-between, pretty, ugly or pretty ugly, he loves us the same. And here's the big surprise. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE GOD STOP LOVING YOU. He loves us unconditionally, and immesurably.

Unconditonal love means loving someone without expecting anything in return. Honestly, look at yourself. What makes you worthy of love? Well, I know it can't be performance because I've messed up bajillions of times. It can't be works because works would mean that God's love is based on the works we do, therefore shunning those who don't do any works from His love.

So it would have to truly be 'just because'. God loves you as if you've never done anything wrong in your life and truthfully, you deserve it. When you begin to believe this, and it becomes real to you, it will boggle your mind. Imagine a picture of the Milky Way. God's love for you is bigger than that. Imagine every grain of sand on our planet. If you had 7.8billion gallons of water multiplied by the number of those grains and then counted every proton, that's a mere teaspoon compared to all the love He has for us.

How does that change you? Does that mean anything to you, knowing that no matter what you do, no matter how far you may run, in spite of everything you've ever done and will do, someone will ALWAYS love you?

Have you ever tried to give someone something and they refuse to take it? I have and at the bottom of their reason, they usually are afraid that I'm going to try to get them to do something for me later on if they take what I'm trying to give them. That just goes to show that we are not used to Unconditional love. So many people think that God only loves saints, or the Pope, or little babies or superheroes. We have such a hard time believeing that God could love US. And it's because we keep on looking at our faults, our flaws, the areas we need to work the most on. and you know what? That is what seperates many people from God (but not from His Love). That condemnation, remembering every time you've slipped up or said something mean... Condemnation causes many people to run from God. But When you fully believe in the LOVE that He has for us... you'll run TO Him.

If you want more information on this Love that God has for you, just ask or call me at 3193391990/3195121444

questions guys really want to ask girls

this is a list of questions every girl knows you guys want to ask us, but you're just too scared to.

Q#1 do you really think it's hot when a guy does the 'hair-flick'?
A: sometimes... you have to be able to pull it off without looking like you have a neck twitch or are getting whiplash. a slight sideways nod can be cute but the whole head-thrashing thing? no. thats not attractive at all.

Q#2 if i dont have muscles, does that mean i can't be hot?
A: definetly not. hotness isn't all about looks, it's mostly about attitude. if a guy has a body to DIE for but is a jerk, he's about a 4 on a scale of ten. but an ok looking guy with a killer smile and the sweetest personality ever? he's a 17. fo sho.

Q#3 why do girls giggle so much?
A: a lot of the time, we do it to annoy you! it's kinda cute/extremely amusing to watch you get all flustered and worried because you think we're talking about you. which we are. but nothing bad... probably trying to imitate the 'irritated glare' you give us. :D

Q#4 how do i know if a girl really likes me?
A: this is hard to answer because every girl is different. some girls just get really REALLY touchy-feely... she'll brush your arm or sweep the hair out of your eyes when she's talking to you. other girls (like me) look like they're avoiding you, because they will freeze up when you talk to them. she'll probably fidget a LOT, mess with her hair, bite hangnails etc. but a select few, lucky girls they are, act no different to you when they like you. they just treat you the exact same as they treat everyone else.

Q#5 what should i do if a girl likes me, but i dont like her back?
A: whew, that's a toughie... break it to her gently. but after that, leave it alone. either she'll move on and forget about the whole thing or she'll just back off for a while. possibly, you could realize that she's not so bad after all... lolz :D

Q#6 do girls notice their own (and other girls') boobs?
A: of course!! girls critique their own bodies a lot so we DEFINETLY notice a girl who has a nice *ahem* attribute or two... like halle berry; i guarantee you that at least 3 out of every 5 girls who saw Catwoman wanted to jump her and steal her ass. not kidding. halle is BUILT! we also know that you notice our boobs. we tell our friends, then (might just act like we) are disgusted but, inside, we might kind of feel good, in a creepy way. it's odd.

Q#7 how do girls rank guys? (i.e., hotness scale, would you rather? etc.)
A: no comment. thats top secret info.

Q#8 do girls really have lists for everything like in south park?
A: no. at least, not on paper.

if you have any other questions you want me to answer, just leave em as a comment...

vegetarian vs. taco

i adore tacos. not even kidding. when i was in the womb, my mom constantly craved (and therefore, ate) pancakes, tacos, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. these are all my favorite foods today.

last night at youth group, we had tacos. but i'm a vegetarian. and taco johns doesn't make meatless tacos. ("because those would be WRAPS" ^_^)
so guess what i did!!!
i scraped all the meat out of my taco wiht a plastic fork. while doing this, i realized that the grease and odor of taco meatis really not appealing or appetizing at all.
wow.

i think i can do this vegetarian thing, as long as i remember that with every veal parmesan i turn down, a baby cow doesn't die.

knowing

where do i end and where do you begin,
here in the moment, forever unbroken?
is this just a dream or a moment in time?
are we still sitting here, lonely?
are you now mine?

im an artist, a crafter,
a painter, but wait...
you know this.
they all know this.

what don't you know?

you don't know that:
i watch crime dramas as often as i watch cartoons
i love philosophy, in all its forms.
i know i'll end up living alone, and it doesn't scare me. that much.
i cant get you out of my head. and i've realized, i dont want to.
you make me believe in magic.
i honestly don't believe that we'll all die someday.
there is no tunnel. only the light.
laughing only hurts when you're trying too hard
whenever i dream about being someone else,
i realizes they wish they were someone else too.
i dont get brain freezes.
i know what a 'fatty-fatty-boombalatty' is.
i am not one.
socks are for pansies.
so are non-chucks.

i miss you.
but you know that. because i tell you all the time.

why my spring break has sucked so far

i lost my phone like 4 dys ago. and i still cant find it. but it's somewhere in my room. now, it has died so i can't just call it.
*whoopie for me

i got up at eight. to look for my dumb phone
didn't find it.
so i'm in trouble.

i forgot to bring my american studies stuff home so i can't really study for chapters 10 or eleven because i dont have have my federalist+democratic-republicans table. and the textbook is not online, even though the worksheets and study guide are. thanks so much mister carlson. i should probably start writing my essay...

but hey!! i cleaned my room! and i had hot chocolate from Terrapin (HEAVEN) so... it's (mostly) all good...

haha

parents and music

there are lots of bands. but when ur really sick of the sameold-sameold, just go to lyrster.com and type in a couple words you feel.
it finds songs with these words int eh lyrics... thats how i found:
Please by Ludo
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
All i want is You by Planetshakers
and many more....
so yeah.

dont give up on singing just cuz other people think u suck.
that doesnt matter. singing is fun. and it releases stress. and it is also fun.
did i mention that singing is fun??
btw.. what is up with parents these days??? my mom freaked out cuz i have a B+ in science and i'm all like"yeah, its okay.. not the END OF THE WORLD" and she's all liek "did you study?? u can do WAYYYYY better than this!"

it's very frustrating. sometimes, i forget who's the adult and who's the child.

if this is real

if im not mistaken, i have a bad history when it comes to liking guys.
i get really die-hard really fast and i usually end up making a fool out of myself.
which is why, this time, i will not say anything about this to him for at least a month.
my hands are tied behind mmy own back and i've swallowed the key. if this is the one that could actually go somewhere, i dont want to screw it up by acting like myself.

he is really a nice guy. but i dont think he could like someone like me. he goes for those ultra-indie girls who have this effortless grace to everything they do. they always look perfect even though u know they dont give a crap about how they look.
that is the opposite of me (for the most part)
i am awkward. and clumsy. i hope i'll grow out of it, but i know deep inside, i wont.
i dont care about how i look but i'm also no where close to looking perfect. which i can deal with.
most of the time.
wow. i sound so cliche.
good or bad??

bored-dumb

i am not the world's smartest person, but even i can tell that giving kids a day off in the middle of the week is stupid. who goes out and parties on tuesday night for christs sake??
what movies come out for a wednesday crowd?
none.
school boards are supposed to make learning functional but this is a load of bull. i am stuck at home forgetting how to do algebra and preparing to fail my american sudies test make-up.
it's not goin good.

but hey!!

at least i got to eat french toast stick for breakfast.